There are moments in life that feel like they were always meant to come full circle.

This is one of them.

It’s a story rooted in Ann Arbor.
In compassion.
In courage.
And in two incredible women who quietly changed the way we care for one another at the end of life.

Where It Began

Long before hospice care became what we know today, patients nearing the end of life, often cared for in hospitals removed from the comfort of home, family, and familiarity.

But in the late 1970s and early 1980s, two nurses, Lois Jelneck and Ingrid Deininger saw something different.

They believed people deserved more.

More dignity.
More comfort.
More humanity.

Ingrid, deeply shaped by her experiences and a profound belief in alleviating human suffering, traveled to England to learn from the modern hospice movement. She brought those teachings back to Ann Arbor.

And in 1980, she met Lois.

Two kindred spirits.
Two “oak trees,” as they would later be described.

Together, they built something that didn’t exist before, bringing end-of-life care into the home, centered not just on the patient, but the entire family.

A Way of Life

For Ingrid’s daughter, Heidi Deininger, hospice wasn’t a concept, it was her childhood.

She remembers going on home visits as a young girl, watching her mother care for people in ways that felt natural, but were anything but ordinary.

“Nothing was beneath her. You take the garbage out… you help however you can. As a child, you think that’s normal, but it wasn’t normal.”

Ingrid believed death was not something to fear, but something to understand as part of life.

“If I didn’t think of it as part of life, I wouldn’t be able to do what I do.”

And she carried a philosophy that still echoes today:

To serve, to care, to comfort and share, to love, to listen and guide… to be there when needed… for you matter because you are you.

This was the foundation.

The Work They Did

At a time when most believed care belonged in hospitals, Lois and Ingrid believed something radical:

People should be able to stay home, “because that’s where they wanted to be.”

They trained caregivers.
They supported families.
They made the unfamiliar feel possible.

“Bringing home a terminally ill person can be frightening… we wanted them to be comfortable bringing them home.”

And slowly, what once felt impossible… became a new way forward.

The Legacy They Created

Decades later, their impact continues to ripple outward.

Through the people they taught.
Through the caregivers they inspired.
Through the families who found comfort in their approach.

And through people like Kathy Hopps.

Kathy started as a daughter.
A family member.
Someone who simply saw a need, and stepped in.

“I represent the son, the daughter, the spouse… the one who has no training but has love for the person who needs them.”

Over time, caregiving became her calling.

And through Lois and Ingrid, it became something more.

“I feel like an acorn next to two oak trees… to be part of their legacy is such an honor.”

She learned not just what to do, but how to be.

How to sit beside someone.
How to comfort.
How to bring calm into the hardest moments.

“You can reach within yourself and pull out the most benevolent kindness and compassion… the kind that Lois and Ingrid taught me.”

A Full Circle Moment

Today, Kathy is caring for Lois—who is now in the compassionate care of Arbor Hospice.

The student has become the caregiver.
The legacy has come home.

“To be trained by Ingrid in her dying days… and to be trained by Lois while she is in hospice… and then to be their caregiver… it’s an overwhelming, humbling gift.”

It’s hard to put words to what that means.

But you can feel it.

The Story That Found Us

This incredible story was brought to us by Arbor Hospice music therapist, Leika, who recognized something profoundly beautiful unfolding in real time and she knew it needed to be shared in Life’s Big Moments.

As music filled the room, Leika gently played beside Lois, the two sweetly singing songs together, sharing moments of joy, memory, and connection that seemed to transcend time itself.

Through music softly shared.
Through hands being held.
Through laughter, tears, and familiar melodies.
Through the quiet continuation of something that began decades ago with two women who believed deeply in compassionate care at home.

And somehow, through song, that legacy still lives on.

What They Knew All Along

Lois and Ingrid didn’t just change how we care for people at the end of life.

They changed how we understand it.

That it’s not only about dying.
It’s about living fully, meaningfully, right up until the end.

“Hospice isn’t necessarily about dying… it’s about how do you live at the end of your life.”

They believed families could do more than they thought.
That love was powerful.
That presence mattered.

And that no one should face the end of life alone.

The Oak Trees Live On

Kathy says their influence continues to grow through every caregiver, every family, every moment of compassion passed forward.

Like seeds from something strong and deeply rooted.

“It just keeps spreading… and it keeps spreading… because someone was taught by Lois and Ingrid.”

This is their legacy.

Not just in history.
But in every act of care that happens because of them.

A Mother’s Day Reflection

This Mother’s Day, we honor more than mothers.

We honor those who nurtured something bigger than themselves.
Who cared deeply enough to change the world around them.
Who taught others how to show up in life’s most sacred moments.

Because of Lois and Ingrid…
Countless families have been able to say goodbye at home.
With dignity.
With comfort.
With love.

And because of caregivers like Kathy…
That legacy continues.

Take a moment to think about the people who shaped the way you care, because their legacy might be living through you, too.

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